Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
