You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
