Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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