it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
