We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
