I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
