I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
