dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
