I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
