i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
