where am i from again
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
