He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just pee around me
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
