coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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