Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
