he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
