that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
