sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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