That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
