I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
