so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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