if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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