is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Let's paint friendship bongs
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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