i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize