he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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