They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
