I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
