did you get engaged???
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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