Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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