Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize