he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
