After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize