if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
