Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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