My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
