Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize