Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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