Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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