I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
