Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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