i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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