I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
