I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
