it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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