so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
