she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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