Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
