she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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