Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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