Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize