We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We had sex on a dog bed..
we should paint friendship bongs
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