Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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