from now on my penis is your penis
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
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