so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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