I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Terrible idea I love it
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
