I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
