no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize