Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
