from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
