i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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