The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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