Fuck appropriateness.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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