i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
