Your tits are I can't wait for
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
