is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
In other news, I just burned my penis
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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