Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
