so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
