May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
